If You Thought VeggieTales Added Cannabis Carl To Their Lineup, You Were Duped
by Tommy Gimler
The Babylon Bee is a Christian satire website, but if you didn’t know that before last Thursday’s post in which they featured a headline regarding the introduction of Cannabis Carl to the VeggieTales lineup, you may have been taken for quite the ride.
I currently don’t have a five-year-old kid in the house, so when somebody sent me this post last week, my initial thought was, “What the fuck is VeggieTales?” After a brief explanation, common sense set in, and I immediately knew the idea of a weed character such as Cannabis Carl being introduced to the children’s show for Christians was a hoax.
However, many people on social media surprisingly didn’t get it right away and wound up freaking out for a split second. Now to their credit, The Babylon Bee’s article was extremely well written. Here’s just a taste of it:
“Kids are ready for this,” said Dreamworks executive Brian Jones, who is overseeing production on the current series.
In his inaugural episode, Cannabis Carl will be at the border to the VeggieTales house property, trying to cross over to start a new life, only to be met by Pa Grape who is out patrolling for illegal vegetables. After Pa Grape puts Carl in custody for being an illegal plant, Mayor Archibald passes a new law that Cannabis Carl is a legal citizen. Carl is welcomed by the Veggie Cast as they sing a song about old laws and new covenants, drawing a powerful parallel from scripture that is easy for kids to understand.
I mean, that’s not bad. Of course, if everybody would have just stopped and actually used your brains, they would have quickly realized that there’s no way in hell a marijuana character would ever be introduced to a show for kids, especially Christian ones. C’mon, meow.
Image credit: The Babylon Bee
The moment you wish it was just wax inside your ear: